BE BOLD. BE PROVOCATIVE. BE YOU.


After years of contemplating the age-old question, “What is sexy?” and exploring an infinite amount of possibilities, I’ve realized that it is actually quite simple. Sexy is not about having impeccable style, a model’s body, or sassy attitude. In fact, you could be wearing a paper bag with dirt on your face and sporting a mess of tattered hair, but if you carry yourself with the right amount of self-assurance, you already have all the sexy that you need. In theory, it sounds so simple. Let your confidence shine and you will appear a more alluring, sexually appealing person. In reality, if it were that easy, why wouldn’t more of us just turn ‘it’ up in a boudoir photo session? It’s my suspicion that although something sounds logical, it may also be “easier said than done.” Not impossible. Just a task that requires a bit more practice and perseverance.

Putting on ‘the confidence’ isn’t like donning the most chic dress. It’s inside you and needs to be cultivated. The wonderful thing is that as modern women we are no longer happy just fulfilling the status quo. You don’t want to merely exist. You want to live our life to the fullest. Show off our vibrancy and share our true personalities with the world. But what does that path look like? According to Russian revolutionary, Mikhail Bakunin, “Those who have cautiously done no more than they believed possible have never taken a single step forward.” And to that I say, “we’re on our way!” We are starting our journey by investigating ways to improve self-esteem and confidence.

I believe that we all have what it takes to be our sexiest self. But sometimes we need to look around and appreciate the other woman who are already doing a great job around us. Not the models. Not the celebrities. The real women. Think now about your sexiest friend. Does she always wear the tightest shirt, or shortest skirt? Not likely. She doesn’t need to. She is unique and celebrates that. She flaunts it. Takes her personal beauty, adds a little swagger and displays it for the world to see. She walks into a room and commands attention. She is provocative. She is confident. She smiles and draws attention to herself. She doesn’t apologize for her flaws. She celebrates her them. She has the self-assurance that says, “If you don’t know me, you should.”

Appreciating what you have to offer is just as important as showing it off. It has taken me over thirty years to appreciate my body and learn how to accentuate my assets. The job is not done with just a bright-coloured lipstick or piece of sexy lingerie. Though sometimes those items can really spark excitement, being sexy is about knowing that you are beautiful. That you are special. That you deserve to be appreciated. And that before you can make anyone else realize that, you have to realize it yourself. According to an article in Psychology Today, “The ultimate secret behind ‘sexy’ is being happy enough with yourself that don’t seek the approval – or sexual attraction – of anyone.”

In a world of commercialism and marketing mayhem, we have been bombarded our entire lives with messages that tell us that physical attributes are the most prized possession. But that is an absurd notion that needs to be quashed – immediately. Moving forward we must create a world where women know that they can be confident and that that confidence is something far more appealing than wearing the ‘ideal’ dress size or style. We need to promote self-assured individuals who take control of their uniqueness. We need to provide opportunities that women can celebrate their bodies and beauty while forgetting about perceived flaws. We need to share this attitude with the world and celebrate real beauty, real women, real sexy and real provocativeness.

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